How to choose a coach (it might not be me!)

Working with a coach is a relationship and an investment. Picking a coach who doesn’t suit you can be demoralizing and an expensive lesson.

The first time I sought out some 1:1 support, I had no idea how to narrow down the long list of people I found. On their websites, they all sounded great and sometimes, I felt a little intimidated by them.

Thankfully, I have many wise friends and more importantly, I had friends who had engaged coaches and therapists in their own lives who could provide me with some advice.

And there was one piece of advice that I have used ever since in finding the right supportive professional relationships for myself that never fails me.

We all have non-negotiables in our relationships. We want to connect with people who share some fundamental quality or value with us - that’s our base that we start building our relationship from.

What is your non-negotiable?

I have heard people identify things like being able to laugh easily, sharing basic tenants of faith, demonstrating that they are unlearning harmful systems of oppression, will understand sports analogies , that they have first hand knowledge of this relationship, or anything fundamental piece of information that will help you build a trusting relationship.

Now that you know that, frame it in a question you can ask during your meet ‘n greet call.

Tell me what you’re learning about decolonization?
Do you hold a religious or spiritual belief that guides you?
What makes you laugh?

So what did I ask?

One thing: are you a feminist?

It is a simple and direct question, but it’s also fundamentally who I am. In the first 14 meet ‘n greet calls I had, the person on the other end of the line either said no, or couldn’t answer the question. That was really telling for me. On the 15th, she said “of course I am. why wouldn’t I be?”

Number 15 and I had a great vulnerable and solution-focused relationship for a long time.

When you find your question - book a call with me and let’s see if we connect.